we begin again…

I will write again. My new mantra. After what’s been a good few months off, I’m back. Back to writing on my little baby, Navigating Twenties. In this post I give you a quick catch up on where i’ve been these past weeks and, set forth my plans going forward. I hope you have a hot drink in your hand to keep you cosy whilst you read…

Well. It’s been a while, hasn’t it. I don’t think I have to give much explanation to the reasoning behind that. Lockdown, eh. My creativity seems dependent on experience. When you’re sat within the same four walls each and every day, doing the same routines, with the same person by your side- there’s not many new experiences to have. I’ve been lacking in inspiration, in creativity, in confidence to write.

Life seems a little unstable by now but paradoxically I also feel the most settled I ever have. Some of you reading this will know that I am now living with my partner, James, in Greater Manchester. This is what we’ve been working to for the last, gosh nearly, three years of our relationship. I met James just before I left to go to Durham University, so the first half of our relationship was mainly long-distance. Living together was what we’d always talk about to see us through the main train journeys, late-night calls, rushed texts. Covid-19 made those days arrive a lot sooner than expected. Albeit this is not what ‘living together’ actually is, being trapped together 24/7 with only 1 week to free us is not ‘living together’- it’s some weird social experiment haha. I expected to be heading back to Durham in January 2021 but, lockdown and Government restrictions made that impossible and now it’s unlikely i’ll ever live in Durham again.

My heart breaks for all the experiences i’ve missed out on in Durham, it’s something I just try not to think about. However, getting to build my own little home is exciting. Where we’re living now still doesn’t feel like my home, despite being here 5 months now. We’re on the look out for a flat which will, hopefully, be our home for the next few years and I can’t wait. I am so content, so settled and so happy to be building a home with James. So, in that sense I feel very settled in my life.

Everything else however, feels VERY unstable. University is coming to an end. I thunk because i’m working remotely it hasn’t really felt like that. But, here we are with only a couple months left of my degree to go and, only four weeks left of teaching hours (gips). I just can’t believe it. It doesn’t feel like three years have nearly passed since I opened that brown envelope and saw I was going to Durham University. It just does not feel real that that chapter of my life is over. Now adulting begins- wonderful.

I have no real idea what I will be doing after graduation. I’ve still not heard back from masters courses i’ve applied for, i’m still unsure on a career path. All I do know is it’ll be spent living in Manchester- at least that’s one thing sorted. I suppose this is what’s meant to be exciting about your twenties but, I think the whole global pandemic business just makes it a whole load of stress.

The one thing that I do know, is that I want my life to involve writing. I adore writing, it makes me ridiculously happy. I don’t want to lose it or, for it to only be a past-time. I want it to be something that is in my life every day, that sustains me and keeps me going. Thus, I need to stop moping around on the sofa and begin putting effort into posting on here more often!

Creating and writing on Navigating Twenties was a way to ground myself through the chaos of my twenties. I’m about to enter into a very stressful few months and, I need something for me that puts a smile on my face. On a practical level if I seriously do want writing to be a career-path, I need to begin building a portfolio.

I think I just hit a realisation the other day that now is the time to be active. If I want something, nobody else is going to get it for me. I have a vision for what I want my life to look like, so it’s time to begin making little steps to make it a reality for myself.

Today is February 12th and, it marks the Lunar New Year. Now that’s not something I necessarily celebrate but, I read the most interesting article this morning on the celebrations taking place. 2021 is the year of the ox. The Ox is a symbol of hard-work thus signifies movement. It means that the world will begin to move again this year, it will move on from its static nature in 2020.
That really spoke to me.

I am so ready for the world to begin moving again. I’m ready to begin moving with it and see where the road takes me! So, here we are back writing to you all. Just writing this post seems to have taken a big weight off of my shoulders. This is the most calming activity and, I just hope you enjoy reading.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Not the most exciting, but I felt a post like this was needed to mark this ‘new beginning’ of Navigating Twenties.

All the love,
Al x

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